Blogs - Poodle Gone, Baby Born, Ill Uncle

Every now and again, when all is said and done at the end of the day I make the count of what has happened in my mind and I can't help but have a peculiar feeling. It's usually about life and death, and how close the two are to each other.

This morning, my mother told me that an uncle of mine is suffering from a very agressive cancer. Don't worry, he's not a close uncle, he's more like a far relative. Someone I see like 2-3 times a year at most. My mother told me how he doesn't want anything to be done about the cancer, he sees no more point in life. Hearing that shocked me more than hearing he had cancer. The way I've always known him is that he was always such a lively person, always in for a joke or two. Oh, and his "magic" tricks he used to fool me and my cousins with when we were young. Come to think about it, I always saw him as being some kind of magician throughout my life. Even now that I'm 20 and I understand how he played his tricks, I still can't help but making the link between him & magic each time I see him. Strange how folks make you believe some things when you are young, and you somehow are always reminded of it.

Doctors don't know how long he has to go, but if they could try and fight it off, he'd probably have a good 10-15 years of healthy living ahead. He worked very hard his entire life, and was just starting to slow things down. He'd retire at the end of this year. Now he probably won't even make it anymore. Strange how things work out sometimes.

Then this afternoon, at 13:10, my girlfriend's niece delivered a beautiful baby. He was expected to be a valentine's child, but decided to come a day early. When my girlfriend messaged me with the news of the birth, the news about my uncle was still fresh on my mind. It gave me cold shivers, I felt so strange. I was happy that the baby was healthy, but I pondered more over how close life and death are to each other. But more about death now.

At work, I know many other shopkeepers quite well. They come in our shop, we go by them, and we more often than not chat about all kinds of things on the go. A lady that opened a women's fashion store about one year and a half ago, just across 't Lezerke, has two poodles. One of which is completely blind. She always takes them with her to her store, because she can't miss them. Just a few months ago, the blind one was running in the middle of the street where all the buses drive. I saw him running there and realized he was blind, so if he stayed there, that was good as certain death. I hurried over there, picked him up and brought him back to the lady in the store. She can't 24/7 keep an eye on the dogs when she's dealing with customers, but normally they can't and don't leave the shop just like that. He must have slipped that day. When she saw me carry the dog inside, she panicked. Of course, I was carrying him in my arms, and her first thought when she shot a glimpse at me was that he was dead or hurt. I saw her reaction and immediately told her he was fine, that I only saw him running down the streets dangerously. She thanked me about a thousand times and gave me a box of chocolates the next day. At least she's someone who appreciates it when people do something for her. More people these days can't even say thank you.

I told this story just to say that there's a bit of a bond between us and the lady. Just today around 15:30, the other poodle, the younger and healthier one, died of a heart attack. Just like that. He was sniffling around, when suddenly, it all just stopped for him. Needless to say, the lady closed her store immediately and was lost in tears. We saw her running down the street the way to the parking with her lost son, and we knew enough. A few minutes later she returned and picked up the other dog, the blind one (he can't follow anymore so he had to stay in her shop while she carried the other dog to her car). Suddenly she was standing in our shop, crying. Apparently she needed someone to talk to. I found it weird that she came to us for that. I guess we somehow indeed did have a bond because of the situation I described above. Strange how one moment you can be just fine and the other everything stops working. I might not even be able to finish this blog because the same can happen to me. And to everyone. I feel sorry for the lady, I hope she'll find comfort with her older poodle (he will probably not have very long to live either since he's less healthy and two or three years older than the other one... poor lady)

So now I just came back from the hospital, having visitted that little miracle, and I was just making today's count in my mind. It made me aware of so much more, and I'll really go to bed with a strange feeling this evening. A feeling that tells me to be happy for the baby, and to be sad for the dog and my uncle. But how can you be both happy and sad at the same time? I just don't get it.

R.I.P, Poodle
Congratulations, proud parents
Much strenght, uncle

Wow dat was een mooie post over het leven Kris

My reply will be in English. Because I feel like it.

That was a great thing to read Kris. Weird thing to say, considering the subjects involved, but still - it was wonderful. It's strange how all these things can all happen at exactly the same time in your life. How it can seem that your life during the past few months has been leading up to that one moment in which everything you can imagine will happen, both good and bad.

And I am sad to hear about your uncle. It's not often that someone can honestly say this, but I know exactly what it's like. My uncle, however, received treatment. He wanted it. Unfortunately, it didn't help much. I am wondering though why your uncle doesn't want any treatment. The indication of 10 to 15 years you gave is so much more than most cancer patients get! Hell, even half that and he'd still live longer than most cancer patients! Is there truly nothing that he's got to live for? Perhaps in the coming weeks he'll see the light and realize he wants to get treatment. But perhaps not. I truly hope he will, though.

And congratulations on your girlfriend's nieces baby Don't know if it's actually something you can be congratulated for, but still. And the best to you and your family.

Thank you both.

The reason he doesn't want treatment is a mystery to everyone. He has a succesful and long lasting marriage, a daughter and two lovely grand daughters. He was always enthusiastic and worked hard, loved his family with his entire soul. I have already really wondered what unfortunate events can change an optimist with so much to live for into someone that lost all hope and all will to live.

I also don't think he's going to change his mind about the treatment, since he's already set up a testimony with details about what has to be done to his properties, who of his dear ones receive which of his belongings, how and where he wants to be buried, and so on. It's so strange, I just can'g grasp a hold of his way of thinking. No one can, not even his wife understands his decision and she can't talk him over.

Yeah, it's pretty weird to congratulate a friend on the birth of a baby that's not even related to that friend. Thanks anyway, I felt pretty happy when I read the message that announced the birth. We'd all been looking forward to it in tension and it was a relief to find out it was a healthy baby and the delivery went without too much nasty problems.

Thanks for the nice comments guy

Update: I have now better information on the case of my uncle.

Apparently, he has been sick for a very long time and has known about it too, without telling any of his close relatives about it. Like this, months, possibly even years, passed with him being sick and not talking to anyone about it. Until recently, when the sickness became too apparent and too bad and he had to say what was going on. They brought him to the hospital and there he confessed he didn't want anything to be done about it anymore. Doctors also mentionned that at that phase, they probably wouldn't even be able to do anything anymore. This goes against what I said in my original post, where I said they could cure him and enlengten his life time with years. This apparently was not true, but we knew very little ourselves and misunderstood from a phone call.

Anyway, a couple days ago, his wife called us and gave us more detailed information. Doctors gave him his final life expectation which is between 3 and 6 months. That's the end of the story, there's nothing that can be done so nothing they'll even try. If he had spoken up earlier though... he'd have better chances.

I never mentionned what kind of cancer he's suffering. It's "slokdarm" cancer.

So, that's it. Pretty sad. Especially for his wife and children. I can't imagine how they feel right now.

Also knowing that you have only a couple months left to live... it must be so strange and frightening.